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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

2 more days to go before 1st Syawal...
honestly speaking, im not looking forward to it...
Maybe i shld have juz request to work on dat day...

I've bought my baju kurung, yet im not looking forward to it...
Cuz i feel guilty...
Just a few months ago, i lost my bro...
and yet here i am, happily preparing for hari raya...

i've not forgotten him,
just dat so much happen to me,
one thing after another...
Slowly losing those i love around me...

Im afraid to be happy...
if being happy at the expense of losing someone precious...
I rather not even to feel any happiness,
as long as those i love are beside me...

It's easy to say,
Chill, be carefree..
Dat's wat i want too...
being human, dere's a limit to everything...
I can only pray God give me the strength to go thru this test from Him...

I still have him, the one who i claimed to be my pillar of strength..
and im trying to reach out to him, calling out to him...
but he's gettng further and further...
dat i can only see his shadow...
I miss him so much...




nniinnaa 12:03 pm