Is this the conclusion?
but i haven't get the answers to my questions..
What's ur motive? What do u get from all these huh?

YOU have changed totally..
I don't recognise you anymore..
Where is the guy that i've fallen for on 4th Oct 2001?
YOU are not him...
The guy that i loved, he hurt me before, made me cry sometimes too but NEVER this way...
He's the sweetest guy i've ever met. I love him too much that i'm afraid to lose him...
But now...
I rather lose him for good.. cuz he's not the same person that i know, that i adore, that i respect...

No man have ever laid a hand on me...
No man have ever raised his hand on me to try and hit me...
Not even my father..
Not even my late brother....
YOU ARE THE FIRST...

YOU said, i've never trust you...
I wished i didn't trust you at all... if not, i wouldn't be this hurt...
didn't i trust your lies all this while?
Yes i did, i stupidly did.

I'll never forget what happen on 29th March 2008... NOR will i ever forgive YOU ever again...

For your happiness, i've let YOU go for so many times...
I've sacrificed my happiness for yours!

I have to go thru so much heart wrenching moments.
I've cried for so many days, so many nights...
and then u came bck... i tot it's for good.. but no... u came just to hurt me further...
Why can't u see that i've sacrifice so much just to let you go, i went tru so much..
The sacrifices i've made was not appreciated, in return,
U'll come back to hurt me again and again...

I let u go cuz i want YOU to be Happy...
I just want to see u happy... I've said this many times...
it's ok if im heartbroken, but all i asked for, is u to be happy...
Is it that hard?!
Isn't this wat u wanted?
for me to leave, so that u can be happy...
but why do u still haf to return?
You are selfish.. for your own good...
U wldnt let me be happy just for a moment...

U said to me "nin, learn to let go..."
The fact is, i've let you go.. many times...
It's you, U shld learn to let me go...
U've never let me go, cuz like me, maybe u r afraid to lose me...
U dun feel good, cuz when im not around you anymore...
U feel something is missing isn't it?

You knew you will hurt me if u return...
You knew i'll cry again if u r back in my life and den turn arnd and leave again and again...
You knew all this don't you?!!!
So tell me, why are you still doing this?!
Why? Why? Why?

If i let u off again like i did the other time when u played me, u'll still return an hurt me again...
I hope this time, u can see that i'm not ur play thing...
I'm not someone you can bully ok!
I have feelings, and there's limit to everything... especially my patience..
Have i not been patience all these years with you?!
Dun put all the blame on me...
It's you!
You are the one with the problem...

Tell me, have u ever seen me that way before?!
Before you did this, have i ever slapped you or shouted at you before?
NO! never... each time u hurt me, i'll cry and i'll keep quiet, and let u off...
In fact, i'll be the one to say sorry...
but u'll do it again and again..
each time,U'll hurt me even more..

I know u hate me now... for making u look like a jerk..
but hey..
u dun look like a jerk, YOU ARE A JERK! IRRITATING BASTARD!

As much as u gonna hate me... Let me tell you, I HATE YOU EVEN MORE !
and i'll never never ever forgive you...
I dun care if im to carry this sin with me all my life...
I know it'll be a burden...
I've forgive you too many times, but u took advantage of me.
U dun deserved my forgiveness..
May u rot in hell..!
I hope having dreams at night abt u will ceased soon...
cuz i know watever dreams i have about you, it'll happen...
and
I don't want to know anything abt you anymore.

And one more thing, if u ever regret, which i doubt so... niwae, its too late for u to regret..
U made too much mistakes till u dunno how to get out of it... that's why u have to continue making the same mistakes...
watever it is....
just remember this, wat goes arnd comes arnd!

My dear frens, do me this favour, i dun wanna hear his name or say his name ever again. Dun ever dare to talk to me about him. NEVER!

P/S:
hey babe, if u ever came across this... I really dunno if i shld hate you or pity u... from the start, honestly u were in the wrong, it takes two hand to clap for things to happen..
but I know what he did to me, he did to you too...
If u still love him, and think he's worth it...
pls, do me this favour, help him forget me forever...
dun ever let him come near me again...
Sometimes i wished u were someone vicious, i wished u were firm enough with him to keep him by your side...
so that he wun look for me anymore...
I know i'm being selfish for asking this from you.
i think, its enough wat he did to me.
Do watever k, just make sure he dun do this to you for the 3rd time like he did to me...
Best of luck... make him happy, i know you can. love him. take care of him for me.
Dun ever make him frown or sad ok...
cuz somehow, if he's sad or something wrong is gonna happen to him, i can feel it...
That's how strong the bond i have with him...
I just can feel it...

nniinnaa 3:24 pm