Friday, June 12, 2009
I did it again..
When i was heartbroken....
I prayed hard, very hard that one day i'll find someone who'd love me for me...
I wanted to be with someone that i don't have to pretend to be perfect for, accept all my flaws be it big or small...
and then, my prayers were answered...
Allah sent someone to me...
who have been so understanding, caring and loving...
I dunno why he loves me so much... but he does...
I can feel it now... I can see it....
I thought he was just another guy, who is lonely who wnts a gf for the sake of having a gf...
But what happened yesterday really opened up my eyes, my heart for him....
I prayed for someone like him... I've got him... so why am i doing all this to him...
What more do i want?! what is it dat i want?!
I just don't understand myself sometimes...
why am i hurting him, when i told myself, i'll never hurt anyone like i've been hurt...
how cld i hurt someone who have been sent to me to heal my broken heart...
how cld i hurt someone who have been putting up with all my nonsense...
how cld i hurt someone who have been fulfilling all my wishes, without complaint...
what he said yesterday, reli broke every wall i've put up so that i wun fall in love again....
when we hang up the fone, i didn't sleep...
i think and think and think abt what he said to me...
i wonder, am i good enuf for him... don't he deserve much much better person den me... much more prettier den me..much more smarter den me....
all these thoughts came to mind.... the past r/s reli gave me fears to go into a new one....
nniinnaa
9:19 am
Am i ready?
Ramzah