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Thursday, February 14, 2008

It's like a déjà vu for me..
It's like she knew what I'm feeling...
she called me..
Asking me how am I doing...?
Why must she be so nice?
She don't need to do this to make it up to me for what her son did...
And then, the sis sms... saying she missed me...
What should I do?
What should I say?
 If I were to ignore them, I'll feel bad...
Cuz they didn't do me any wrong...
 
I thought I was getting stronger...
I thought I could handle it alrd...
but
a few days ago, I called my frens again...
and I cried real hard...
I must have scare them when I cried dat way..
Saying things I've never said before...
It was what I really feel inside...
 
I felt miserable..
I'm hurt...
 
I asked God, why did I have to go thru this again and again...
I can't do this anymore...
 
I dunno if they understand...
maybe they are much stronger than me to feel what I feel...
 
I know it's not the end of the world that I dun haf him alrd...
I know he's not worth all these tears...
I know I shldn't cry when he's having a happy time...
 
I tried to...
I tried to hold bck my tears when it hurts badly...
I tried to be strong...
I tried not to think about him at all...
I really tried...
and I can't help it when it hurts...
 
I feel like a loser...
Crying and wailing for nothing...
 
Why am I doing this?
I don't know what gonna happen next..
But all I know..
I'm really tired and drained out...
 
2 days been sick..
Didn't go to work...
Stayed at home, sleeping all day long...
 
Only prayers help...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

nniinnaa 1:34 pm